Struggling SINGLE, You can Live Satisfied
Are you struggling with singleness? Longing for marriage? Wondering if God has marriage for you or if singleness will be your life? You are not alone.
A desire for marriage is a good desire from the Lord. It is not wrong to want to be married one day, but if you allow it to become a demand you can easily fall into sinful attitudes (such as frustration, jealousy, discouragement and despair).
Do you find that you struggle to enjoy all the good in your life that the Lord has so graciously blessed you with because you continue to be focused on not wanting to be single? If you answered yes, how do you get out of this type of thinking? How do you start embracing and enjoying a life of singleness? How do you live satisfied even in your unwanted singleness?
Looking To Love
The answer is in the two greatest commandments. The two greatest commandments apply to all of life - even singleness.
What are the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:36-40)?
1) To love God
2) and to love others
Instead of looking FOR love the Lord calls us to look TO love.
When we look to love God and others we are living out our purpose. We are taking our eyes off of ourselves and what we want and are fixing our eyes on following after God. Looking to love God and others will fill us up in a way that looking for love never will. For as beautiful as marriage is - it was never meant to satisfy our souls.
Our lives don't become complete when we are married. Our lives are made complete in Christ. You could be married and be just as dissatisfied and lonely (or maybe even more so) as you are right now in your singleness. Every season has highs and lows, good and bad - we choose what we are focusing on in every season.
In your season of singleness - what are you choosing to focus on? Are you focusing on looking for love or looking to love?
Made to Worship
Our hearts are prone to worship the creation above the Creator, to turn our wants into demands (Jeremiah 2:13). Yet, if we are willing to give our desires over to the Creator and seek to love Him and others with our life we will find true joy, fulfillment and satisfaction.
So if you are finding yourself longing for marriage, instead of looking for love, look to first love God and then to love on those whom the Lord has put in your life.
The Lord laid down His life for us and in the same we we ought to lay down our lives for God and others.
What does this practically look like?
1) First it looks like looking to love God with all your heart, strength, mind and soul (Matthew 22:36-38, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Romans 12:1-2, Psalm 16:11, Deuteronomy 10:12).
2) Second it looks like looking to love others by sharing and displaying the gospel to them through your words and actions (Matthew 22:39, Matthew 28:19, 1 John 3:16, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Philippians 2:3).
A Greater Love
We can experience a greater love in looking to love God and others than we can in looking for love (Psalm 17:15, John 6:35, John 15:12-13, Isaiah 58:10-11). For in Jesus Christ, you already have the greatest love you will ever find and now because of His love, you can love Him and others (1 John 4:19).
Right now, though God has singleness for you, you can rest assured that no matter how long God has singleness for you, you can live a full and satisfied life in Christ when you seek to love God and others above all else.
To Live
Answer the following questions:
1) In what ways have you been looking for love in a future relationship to satisfy you?
2) Why will a future relationship fail to satisfy you?
3) How can you look to love God this week? Write out 3 specific ways.
4) How can you look to love others this week? Write out 3 specific ways.
To Listen
*this article was originally posted on Kindred Soul Counseling